The other night Calvin wasn’t wanting to cuddle before bedtime like usual. He was happy and very much awake. He kept pointing to the door and I was too tired to force bedtime so I let him get down. I brought him into my room, settled him onto the bed with Cars 3 on my phone and I laid down to get a little rest.
After about 10 minutes Calvin put down his movie and took the next 30 seconds to slowly pull a blanket over me. He’s so small and the blanket was so big it took him several one-handed pulls but once he was satisfied he patted my back and went back to his movie.
I teared up a little then and I get teary-eyed now just thinking about such a tender moment shared with my little guy. He is so sweet and loving and I never want to forget how he thought to look out for his mama like that.
Like most moms, I lose my patience from time to time, and I worry that those moments of weakness will be what my child remembers. I worry that he’ll remember the days that I’m tired and accidentally fall asleep on the couch. I worry that he’ll remember the days that I spend more time doing dishes and cleaning than playing with him.
However, I hope he remembers the days that I cover him in kisses. I hope he remembers the days that we spend at the park just playing and running around. I hope he remembers the tender moments we’ve spent together as I rock him to sleep. And most of all, I hope he remembers how much I love him.
I hope he remembers that he changed my life in a million wonderful ways.
More than anything, I hope I forget all those times I lost my patience and that my memories of Calvin’s childhood will be the ones when we played, laughed, hugged, and discovered new things together. I hope my memories are filled with the first time he held my hand to walk down the street, the first time I rode a bike with him on the back, the first time he gave me a kiss, and the first time we played hide and seek together.
Being a mother is definitely challenging. It’s so hard. Sometimes it seems impossible to figure out the best way to raise a tiny person who is always changing! But it’s also an incredibly beautiful journey full of tender moments that make your heart melt.
I hope I remember them all ❤